I am soon going to be divorced from an aggressive, angry man, who would either rage and explode or sleep through the weekends.  His tantrums were very scary to me and the kids - he would constantly claim center stage with his selfish displays of rage.  I was always so disappointed that we could never have a peaceful family home.  I always tried to minimize the effect of his mood swings on the children.  I tried to take care of them completely - I kept them very active with many activities.  However, since his behavior was completely unacceptable, I decided to divorce him after trying, for too many years, to work it out. 
 
I explained what I was doing and why to the children.  They understood completely and seem very relieved by this new phase in our lives.  Unfortunately, he has refused to move out of the house - and tries to impose his moods on us.  When the divorce is final we will, thankfully, not have to live with him any more.  The children will have some overnights.  However, because I am no longer trying to "keep the peace" and hide their father's bad behavior from them, they, and I, have been liberated.  My kids and I tell their father to stop shouting when he starts his bullying.  Or we simply walk away and leave him standing alone, having to deal with his own demons.  Now that we have faced this bully, his power is completely gone. 
 
We have dealt with this with the help of therapy.  My daughter's therapist encouraged me to be honest with my daughter with my feelings.  She said that if I was honest, that my daughter would be honest with me and be able to open up.  When I did that with both of my children, explaining that their father's behavior was bad and he was wrong to scream and shout like that, they also told me that they didn't like it.  We discussed how we would deal with it.  I see how my kids have become more confident and social.  My son, who was kind of shy, is much more comfortable with himself.  He's always been social  - but there's a new ease he has, which brings tears to my eyes.  Divorce, for us, has been a way to learn how to deal with a bad situation.  By being honest with my children, I've empowered them and taught them how to deal with a very difficult situation.  Soon their angry father will not be living with us.  We will be able to relax and enjoy the loving and peaceful home that everyone is entitled to.